#TheToast2024

Grieving is weird. When you see that word, you might be drawn to tears or sadness, but really, grieving is about hidden love and laughter. There’s no map to follow, no right way, no cheat code. Everyone’s individual experience is ultimately the right one, and the right… “way.” 

Almost three years ago, I was introduced to actor Andrew Garfield’s unique approach to grief which is extraordinarily beautiful, and one that I’ve tried to adopt. 

“The grief that will remain with us,” Garfield says, “… is all the Unexpressed Love” we didn’t get to tell them. 

It’s quite amazing when you think about it. The tears come from the “I miss you so much.” It’s the “I have something funny to tell you.”

It’s the “you would never believe what just happened.”

But we just don’t have that opportunity. No matter how much time we’re gifted to have with one another, it’s not even close to being enough. 

The weird that comes next though, is while the tears might well up in your eyes and some might even sneak down your cheek, a smile will form. A laugh will come over you. Those tears… that Unexpressed Love… comes back to your heart and reminds you just how lucky you are to have had that time, however short or long it might have been, with your human. 

The grief… I mean, Unexpressed Love… that has come over me since October of 2007 has been immeasurable, but I look at it so differently today than I did 17 years ago. 

I look at it differently because now, every time John’s birthday rolls around on October 25th, so many of you take a moment with us to think about your loved ones that have left us too soon. It’s extremely humbling. 

I never thought that a simple toast and text – the original Toast tying New York City, Ashburn (Va.) and Charlotte together would spread to Ireland, Italy, Germany, France, Asia, Finland, Australia, New Zealand, Canada and Mexico, let alone nearly all 50 states – would result in a breathtaking moment of reflection each year. 

And now it’s time to embrace that moment once again, taking advantage of the opportunity to Express Your Love.  

On behalf of our family, I humbly ask you to join us on Friday, Oct. 25th at 8 p.m. – whatever time zone you’re in – to remember the love you have for your family and friends. Take a moment to know you are loved, and, to tell others that you love them.

John was the brother everyone wanted, the best uncle in the world, a son to be proud of and a loyal and true friend. John’s smile and kind heart warmed everyone he met. He was brilliant and fun… and he’s missed more and more every day.

This year… let’s all share our Unexpressed Love that we all certainly hold. 

On Friday, Oct. 25th, please join us as we toast to John, and just as importantly, toast to you. 

On whatever social media platform you choose, please use the hashtags #TheToast2024 and #JohnsToast.

Cheers and love to you all, 

Chris

#TheToast2024
#JohnsToast