#TheToast2025

GRACE

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I was about five years old when John left for the University of Notre Dame. I don’t remember the day when he left, but I’m sure I handled it like any toddler would when someone you loved was leaving for what you thought was going to be forever.

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It wasn’t forever. Little did I know he was going to become my idol, my coach, my therapist, my confidant… one of my best friends. 

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John lived in Grace Hall at Notre Dame, and while it’s now become offices, for me (and for all I know) it was where he lived for all four years while he was in South Bend. Did he live there all four years? Highly doubtful, but for me, John is Notre Dame and Grace Hall. 

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Grace is defined as “simple elegance or refinement of a movement,” or “courteous goodwill.”

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Grace isn’t earned… it’s freely given. It’s a choice. It’s a lifestyle. 

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Fast forward to 14-year-old Chris, a teenager that switched to a brand new (rival) high school that even I acknowledge ‘hating’ while in middle school. I was entering a foreign territory. When I needed a practice jersey after signing up to play football at Notre Dame High School in Elmira, NY, John gave me his from his intramural days representing Grace Hall. 

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Plastered across the front, “GRACE.” On the back… “Madigan.”

My first day at practice, an old friend, Brad Polk, looked at me and said, “Hey Grace… what’s your real name?” And it stuck.

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Did John or I think my nickname since August of 1992 would be Grace? Definitely not. But is it something I embrace? Absolutely. 

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My teammates and classmates at NDHS showed me so much grace. And John also taught me to live my life with grace. It’s not easy, but that’s what I strive to do, no matter my personal differences. 

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We’re in a weird spot in the world, but every year on John’s birthday, I choose to believe that we all can take a moment to show some grace… and spend a few minutes in harmony with each other as we toast to our loved ones. 

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I’m always taken aback when October 25th rolls around each year, when so many of you take a moment with us to think about your loved ones that have left us too soon. It’s extremely humbling. 

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Eighteen years ago, it was a simple text to my family – the original Toast tying New York City, Ashburn (Va.), and Charlotte together. It blows my mind that this has spread to Ireland, Italy, Germany, France, Asia, Finland, Australia, New Zealand, Canada, and Mexico, let alone nearly all 50 states. It’s a breathtaking moment of reflection each year. 

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On behalf of our family, I humbly ask you to join us on Saturday, Oct. 25th at 8 p.m. – whatever time zone you’re in – to remember the love you have for your family and friends. Take a moment to know you are loved, and to tell others that you love them.

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John was the brother everyone wanted, the best uncle in the world, a son to be proud of and a loyal and true friend. John’s smile and kind heart warmed everyone he met. He was brilliant and fun… and he’s missed more and more every day.

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This year… let’s all share some grace. Let’s be that unconditional love that so many of us are yearning for.  

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On Saturday, Oct. 25th, please join us as we toast to John, and just as importantly, toast to you. 

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On whatever social media platform you choose, please use the hashtags #TheToast2025 and #JohnsToast.

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Cheers and love to you all, 

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Chris

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#TheToast2025

#JohnsToast